Calm after the storm

It was supposed to happen that way but my mind is acting in reverse. I was calm at the time but the longer I  allow myself to think and dissect every detail and question everything, my mind starts racing and all the emotions get mixed up.

The roots of it all, the evils of alcohol, how weak of a person you are, how mindless and insensitive you have become.

Right, it may be okay in the short term but when conflicts would arise in the long run, I would never forget since this mistake has stained my trust and it will take a lot of effort to regain in back. It will just keep on replaying on our minds.

Paranoia, guilt, disgust.

Over and over and over and over...

FUUUUUUUCKKKK!!!!!

I want to scream and let this burden out.

I always have a delayed reaction and after a few hours, Im beginning to realize... It fucking damn hurts.